Seasons to Cycle
Temperament: Melancholy
Record:"Seasons to Cycle" by 10 years

I was working on my long ass paper that is due at 9 am on Monday and my iPod threw this little track up. It made me wonder. Everyone puts walls around themselves...which I guess for the purposes of this discussion we'll call the real person within the front a garden. Well, wait, here are the lyrics first.

How small do you want me to be
Weighed in the balance left lonely
So much can be said through silence
As hard as it seems
All that we need is too close to be seen

Our lives
You build your walls for me to climb
A billion walls for me to climb
You build your walls for me to climb

Travels the very nature we'll live in
Seasons to cycles children to men
Mislead and misread
Company or companion
With all of our hearts we follow our dreams
Slightly out of reach

Our lives
You build your walls for me to climb
A billion walls for me to climb
You build your walls for me to climb

Just...I don't know how to articulate this thought besides.....when we let people close to us...do we take them down or do they open us or do they climb the wall...once the wall is up is it always there. I don't know...comments welcome.

Things That Make You Go HAHA
Temperament: Silly
Record: Quita talking


I pay $33,000 a year and I expect things...

1. That I will not be woken up at 7am by the lawn service
2. That I will not see the cleaning staff napping and lounging
3. The internet will WORK
4. The FFC should serve a different menu at dinner than they had at lunch
5. My car won't be broken into while it's parked in the MERPO lot, stolen, or harmed in any way while on campus
6. To not be yelled at by the FFC staff if I'm not "perky" enough, or if I don't say good morning when I've had a sucky morning
7. I will have a parking spot ON CAMPUS
8. I will have access to every building reguardless of where I live
9. The trash will not build up next to the dumpster for days
10. I won't be forced to cover my face at the smell produced by the FFC when I walk through Porter Patch
11. Tech Support should be able to fix my computer
12. I won't have to dodge sprinklers to get to my apartment
13. That money will not be wasted on plasma screens that nobody watches
14. I will not be woken up at 3am to a broken fire alarm, and then have to listen to it go off repeatedly
15. I will not be stranded downtown waiting on the trolley for 45 minutes
16. I will recieve more than $2 for a book I paid $120 for at the bookstore
17. I should not have to walk to Hell and back just to get a package
18. My clothes will not get locked in the washing machine
19. I should be able to walk down the sideWALK and not get hit by motorized cars of any sort
20. I should not see stray cats running about like I live in a cardboard box on the street, cause I DON'T
21. My dining dollars should roll over to the next semester, or I should recieve a refund
22. I should recieve a "free" t-shirt at all major events; the cost is built in to my tuition, and I want my damn t-shirts
23. I will not be defend by the door alarm just because I was nice enough to hold it open for others
24. I won't have to worry about Res-Life walking in on me naked after I get out of the shower, just to search for candles
25. I won't get run down by some MERPO on a golf cart to yell at me for only yielding at a stop sign where you can only turn left, you don't need to stop
26. I won't be forced to take a ridiculous literature class that has nothing to do with my major and forces me to go camping
27. Mercer Movers will help everyone move in, not just the spoiled freshman
28. I won't be lied to and spoiled my freshman year only to find out the next year how much this school actually sucks
29. I should not have to sell my kidney to afford a sweatshirt (or anything else) at the bookstore
30. I should not have to wait in a two hour line just to sell my books back for chicken scratch
31. I should not have to wait, for what seems an eternity, at the stupid turnstiles just to get into the UC
32. There will be to-go boxes for my use at all times in the FFC
33. A doctor will be oncall at all times at Mercer Health, and they will know what they are talking about
34. The staff of the FFC will be as courteous to me as I am to them, after all their paycheck does come from my tuition
35. I will not be able to hear every little noise the people below or above my room make
36. I should be able to eat in the FFC and take a to-go box out, IT'S A BUFFET
37. The water will not go freezing cold in the middle of my shower
39. The fuse will not die simply because my roomate and I are both drying our hair
40. There will be internet access on every floor in the library
41. The janitors will know their place and not reprimand me for stupid things
42. Laundry will be free
43. The elevator in Mercer Hall will work
44. Every department will have tech help on staff
45. There will not be unneccessary paintings and/or plasma screen TV's purchased for the U.C.
46. There will not be new buildings built when the ones we have are sufficient or there are other buildings that need repair more than the ones being replaced
47. I will not be woken up at 2 am by the garbage truck
48. There will not be a $2,000 tuition increase when things are not satisfactory at $33,000 a year!

Final's Mega, Super Workout Plan
Temperament: Stressed
Record: "Night Cruise" by schedule Electro

Yeah I'm so at the library trying to turn up my wiped to a point where I can't hear the two girls next to me talking. They are doing work but they are being a little loud so yeah. Anyway the library isn't the quietest place on the campus either--it's kinda like a hangout spot for the athletes and stuff.

I'm in here waiting for Sabrina to show up. She wanted me to help her do research for her paper. I've already been here for an hour doing research for another class and I'm kinda getting annoyed because she's 15 minutes late. I'm not sure what could be taking so long. I know 15 minutes isn't a big deal but I'm kinda anal about being on time and being where you say you're going to be you know? I mean I could be working on something.

Speaking of something that could be being worked on let me give you what my next 2 weeks look like :D

Monday-Today-Class Until 7 pm
Tuesday-Class til 4:30
Wednesday-Class til 4:30
Thursday Class til 4:30-10 page paper due-which I started before freakin Easter and e-mailed to my professor and she didn't get around to looking at it until 3 days ago and on top of this she didn't read all of it only like the first 2 pages....yeah so worth my time and effort. She also did what Lauren was complaining about the other day. The first sentence of my paragraph she asks how can you make this assumption and than the rest of the paragraph is...of course explaining that assumption...yeah soooo smart.
Friday-class til noon- Last Day of class
Saturday-"Dead Day" because we're suppose to have finals on Saturday but SGA did something about it...kinda
Sunday-nothing except working my ass off
Monday-I have a 10 page paper due at 9 am....for a class that we just finished the book in on Friday--oh yeah fathom that shit. On top of that it is worth double. So it counts as our final and our 4th essay in the course.
Tuesday-10 page paper due.
Wednesday- "Dead Day 2"
Thursday-4 page paper and test at 9 am
Friday-5 page paper including research
Saturday- I have to finish my website

Oh yeah....and then I think we have to be moved out by noon the next day...what the fuck? Oh and yes I have another test or paper sometime that same week, but the teacher hasn't decided if it's a test or a paper or what day it's on...this is the same teacher who just read my paper that I sent her 2 weeks ago.

I really hate that particular teacher too because she's so insincere...but so is her husband. She said that she would read it by the next class and she kept putting it off and every class she would apologize and when I made an appointment to talk to her about my paper she said yes but than turned around and scheduled 4 other people for the same time-people who didn't even have their papers written!- and then when the day came I was the last one she saw to. HOW INFURIATING!!

Is it Wrong to Be Angry?
Temperament: Irritated
Record: "JING-Girl" by Scudelia Electro

So I'm going to start this blog off slowly and recap on something that happened the other day and then I'm going to get to the heart of the title.

So Quita and I are slowly moving books and other things into storage. The best part is that we finally got our storage unit yesterday for $1. Oh yeah you heard me 50 cents a piece. The scene played out something like, I was sitting on my living room floor simply playing my video game for completion tasks and not for advancement when my roommate called from her room. She says to me "I found a storage unit for a dollar." To which I cock my head to the side, pause my game and answer the lovely Quita with "I've got 50 cents in my pocket!" The lady who gave us the space was particularly nice. She stayed almost 2 hours after they had closed to give us the space and she gave us a lock for free charming lady.

Anyway, as many of you know, but few of you care, I'm in some silly shadowy, shell of a relationship with one Kurt Stubenvoll. Mostly it consists of me issuing orders and him doing. Some times we have a nice afternoon but really it's a lot of fighting and cursing. Silly thing says he loves me but I have some serious doubts. Now this will take some background. As I said, the relationship is mostly me issuing orders and him doing it. This is not without it's complications sometimes but in anycase...his roommate, one Alex Rehn--super Jesus freak, woman hating minoritity hating BRAZILIAN (oh yeah makes so much sense I know) "open-minded" jack ass doesn't like me very much. Now I don't blame him, any good friend would definately try and get their friend out of such a relationship as soon as possible. But don't be fooled Kurt is no angel and while I'm pretty cold and you'll-do-what-I-say-or-you'll-just-leave with my attitudes he is more fiery and you're-such-a-bitch-fuck-you-you're-too-unreasonable, but while my dictatorship remains behind closed doors he tries to exercise dominace in public and in front of his friends to which I laugh at and leave him there with the words in his mouth.Totally disfucntional and ridiculous.

Now here's the thing...if the boy returns for the abuse tomorrow than the only thing I can do is oblige him and it's really none of Alex's concern. Now here's the beauty of the situation, he hates me because he says I treat like a dog (and I don't argue that I don't--I mean I told the boy I really don't care about him and that I see no future for us and that I'm just killing time) but none the less he's not above asking me for favors. I've driven him places, bought him things he needed, got him a Christmas gift, and whenever he can't find Kurt he calls my phones and at all no hours to say the least. Tonight thought that is all coming to an end.

Now I know I'm a bad person and I don't argue the point but there's something to be said about civility. I don't deal with non-civil people well. I will sit and listen to anyone's opinion no matter how far out it is and how fucking antiwoman it is or anti anyone that isn't Baptist to the extreme (in case anyone is lost this is Alex I'm talking about) but I obviously don't get the same courtesy. Alex is the type of person who will have nothing to do with you if you can't do something for him.

Now today someone came into our room and took something and that really bothered me because it happened while I was at home by myself. So I called Kurt to come over (he was off with his friends) because I didn't feel safe. Now Kurt's phone is out of minutes so I called Alex's, like he's done to me soo many times at 2 and 3 in the morning, and I don't even get a hello. Whenever I call his phone or their room I have a very strict policy of having a few pleasantries with Alex so as not to come off like his exsistance doesn't matter, which really it doesn't, but I don't have to make that fact blatantly obvious. So he answers with "I assume you want to talk to Kurt." Now this really got my blood to boil and I answered "Yea" and then in the background I hear, "Kurt, your mom!" Now this isn't the first time I've gotten this and I've been pretty clear and patient, but tonight was really not the time for this ass-holery. So long story short, I'm very pissed and Kurt doesn't understand why. I tell him that he needs to tell his fucker roommate that either he treats me with civility or he can not talk to me at all and not ask me for favors.

What good is a man when my roomate does the job of boyfriend a million times better?

I have a right to be angry don't I?

Easter Weekend
Temperament: Disapointed
Record:"Te Vaz O Te Quedas" by Belanova

Ben finished Kingdom Hearts 2 this morning. I have to say even though I just started it I like it much better than the first one. The maturity of the characters is really what got on my nerves in the first one and this one seems to be at a good level. I'm slightly annoyed with the last like 5 seconds of ending. If you haven't gotten there I won't spoil it for you. And Riku is still the best character.

So spur of the moment yesterday at 6:30 I decided to come home. Kurt noticed that I had been cranky all day and he thought it was because I wanted to go home and just didn't really have a good reason to. By 2, I had written half of the paper I have due this week. The other one I have due can wait til later. Kurt and I were laying around adn Kurt noticed that I was really cranky so he encouraged me to go. So I drive out there and not even 5 minutes after I get there they are already arguing and shit. I was really pissed about that. The whole weekend was like that anytime all of us were in one place.

Saturday my mom and I spent it together which was really nice because she is the reason why I came home. It's weird that we can't stand to be in one place together as a whole. I got a hair cut kinda I don't know what to make of it. My brother and I worked on getting 100% completion on his game. On Saturday night my dad got kidna depressed and said he was going to leave and go to wal mart. I went with him for some unknown reason. We were out driving around for like 3 hours in a town that you can get anywhere in 30 minutes, listening to his music. It was nice I guess.

I guess it wasn't a total waste but right now I have a hard time getting back into a school mentality. I dunno anyway I gotta go find a muffin to eat
Later

Kill the Drama
Temperament: Awake
Record: "Never Take Friendship Personal" by Anberlin

Haha! So I do live! Anyway I'm pretty much just blogging because I can't sleep. Most of you know what's going on with me. This post is pretty much for jonnell, games and peter. Peter wrote me more than a month ago and I haven't written him ( I am so sorry I just hit like the paper month and things finally slowed down). Games I e-mail all the time but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. Jonnell sent me a package that I haven't gotten yet but I am excited. Besides that all is well. I registered for classes. Yippee...I'll post my schedule later. Jon and Rachel I talked to not too long ago...so yea :P